“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill
A while back, I was in the mulligrubs (for about 20 minutes). Nothing out of the ordinary happened but someone said something and I took it personally. I became despondent and just wanted to be alone. Thankfully, I quickly caught myself and changed my attitude and my day was suddenly a lot lighter, like someone opened the drapes to let the sunshine in.
How do you react when life throws “lemons” at you? Do you automatically start thinking negative thoughts or do you choose to look at the bright side? Choosing to be positive takes effort but it gives you power over your life and circumstances. You can’t always control what happens to you but you can control your reaction to it. Psalm 118:24 states, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
When you purposefully look at the bright side (and often this involves giving people the benefit of the doubt), your actions and attitude will correspond. Being positive puts you in the driver’s seat and you can head in the direction you want to go. Here’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist.
The pessimist might say, “Yuck, it’s raining,” while the optimist might say, “Thank goodness for this rain; the plants and flowers need it.”
Here are a few of the differences between an optimist and a pessimist:
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Optimist Traits Sees a problem as a challenge
Has a “can-do” attitude
Laughs and smiles frequently
Has a positive upbeat disposition
Expects all to work out for the best
Is determined to succeed
Pessimist Traits Sees a problem as a catastrophe
Questions their own abilities
Does not laugh and smile much
Has a negative, bitter disposition
Expects things to go wrong
Gives up easily
How to Spot A Pessimist
You will know a pessimist right from the start; however, in some cases, the pessimist’s negativity might be a bit more subtle. Sometimes it may take time to wonder exactly what it is about a person that makes you uneasy. Sometimes a pessimist will come out blatantly and drop their negativity like a bomb. Other times, you walk away feeling worse than when you first encountered the pessimist, but not quite sure why.
A pessimist sometimes also uses sarcasm and wit to disguise their cynicism. It may be a need to bolster their own self-esteem to make sarcastic comments under the guise of wit. It is also possible they are pessimistic about everything in life – theirs, yours, and everyone else’s.
An optimist is different than a Pollyanna-type personality. A Pollyanna-type personality sees everything with rose-colored glasses; everything is wonderful – even the not-so-wonderful aspects of life.
An optimist tends to have a more positive energy and aura. Whenever you are around an optimist, you walk away feeling better than when you first encountered the optimist. They are always finding the lighter side of things, are more jovial, and laugh and smile more.
Even in the face of adversity, an optimist can say, “Look at this challenge in front of me; I can’t wait to find a creative solution.” A pessimist will waste time and energy complaining, whining, and feeling sorry for themselves rather than looking for a creative solution.
Optimism as A Way of Being
An optimist by nature is born with a positive, upbeat temperament. It could stem from a great upbringing, a genetic predisposition, a great childhood, or all the above.
Optimism as A Strategy
An optimist may also be an ordinary individual who chooses to be optimistic. It is a conscious effort moment by moment in their everyday lives. He/she may be in tune with spirituality, and consciousness, or is a seeker of knowledge and wisdom. Being optimistic is a possibility he/she has created for themselves by making a conscious choice to do and be so.
A pessimist might be aware of the power of choice to change his/her attitude to a more positive demeanor. However, they choose to remain the same. The sound of their own voice complaining, feeling sorry for themselves, or getting attention for their woeful tales is enough to keep them satisfied.
Thankfully, optimism is a learned habit. A pessimistic type personality can learn how to be optimistic and put the practices of positive thinking to work in their lives. With a bit of effort and consciously choosing the lighter side of situations and circumstances, a pessimist can learn the skills, habits, and traits of being more optimistic. They simply have to choose to do it.
A side note: I believe that sometimes we get caught up in negativity because we haven’t done anything fun in a while. We’re working on our business, maybe working a job, taking care of the family, etc. but never take time for ourselves. In the book, Empowered Wife, Laura Doyle, talks about the importance of doing something fun and how a lack of self-care can lead to feelings of negativity. If you find yourself being irritable, take a look at your schedule and see when the last time was that you did something you enjoyed, purely for fun’s sake. If it’s been a while, put it on your schedule and make it a priority. You’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel if you do this regularly.
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